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I love all of this, my goodness. I've been thinking about so many of these things as well, but less articulately. That exhaustion with the work, that bitterness that creeps in. I've also been thinking about ambition a lot and how that comes into the work we do (and jobs we hold) and hope to write about that some. I know I'll come back to this essay often. Thank you for writing it.

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Yes to all of it. Today I discovered there’s a Twitter account that opposes writing prizes based on age. It’s an effort to give more opportunities to older writers who haven’t had some of the good fortune that gets a person off to a rollicking start in their 20s. I’m 50+ but I don’t like that direction. The problem is there’s too little of everything for everyone. And it leads to the struggles you described so precisely in all their layers and interdependencies. Such a tangled knot of market forces and so many writers who want, want, want. But maybe the way through is as you suggest - by the light of people like Grace Paley. How wonderful to be able to do so much with one word in the right place. Oh my goodness, how I love her use of “Well!” with that charming exclamation point.

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thank you! I love that "Well!" so much too

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